Indeed, good communication requires openness. But that does not mean that all problems should be disclosed to the spouse outright. So, says dra. Astrid Wiratna, one should not, really, save some of the most personal thing in the corner in the heart most. Because if disclosed and make the marriage broke up, openness even lose its meaning.
When Should Talk About Money
Although ready-made husband and wife, about this one remains sensitive. That’s because, says Astrid, wise attitude required of the wife, especially when income is greater than the husband. Because the culture of Indonesia is still considered necessary to maintain the prestige of men as heads of households. In this context, it is suggested that the wives who happened larger income than her husband did not need to be ranted to the “whole world” shows his prowess.
“Actually, what is in marriage is common property, including money. Never again there are assumptions and this money is my money, but we belong together, which is managed jointly to finance domestic needs,” he said. Ego-man not easily offended, it will appreciate the greatness of his wife.
When Conflict Hit Households
Many consider, the emergence of conflict in marriage is not a good sign. In fact, conflict can arise at any time and may be experienced by anyone. Experts said, the conflict is not something to be avoided, really. Although the need to be observed in order to make changes or adjustments here and there for the good of spouses and marriage, including the face of complex conflicts that are difficult to overcome. Do not get discouraged if as if faced with an impasse, but try the following ways.
Identify areas of conflict
When does a conflict arises, try to ponder why. Do not rush to blame the spouse. Try to introspection. Not impossible, lo, the trigger comes from ourselves. When you point the problem is found, focus themselves to it, do not sputter to other things, let alone that there was no connection at all.
Apply a way to communicate a healthy and constructive
Avoid words less effective that will only make things worse.
Never be afraid to be honest
Including express what we feel and think. Throw away the prejudice that the couple would not listen to what we deliver.
Solve problems one by one
That’s because, never went to the next stage or other problems, if the stage or previously unresolved issues.
Hold a discussion
Focus on things that will hopefully provide a way out. Remember, the blame does not give any benefit. If you need help each party to write a piece of paper before making a deal with the best alternative so both options.
Solutions that have been selected should be reevaluated. If it is in the middle of the road was unable to reconcile the interests of both sides, is fine, really, make changes / adjustments here and there.